


we’ll meet again in winter

by fenneccine



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, First Love, Friendship, Hwitae - Freeform, M/M, Secret Admirer, Teenage Drama, poem; 00:00 reference, songfic kinda, zuseong petty fights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenneccine/pseuds/fenneccine
Summary: ‘a red-colored foolwho’s like a rose, that is youyou who drenches my heartyou who makes my cheeks go red like the sun’this is a song,for yoo.
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Kim Inseong, Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon/Lee Jaeyoon, Kim Youngkyun | Hwiyoung/Yoo Taeyang
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**_September_ **

Eleven in the evening, two cups of coffee in and a tired Taeyang was still awake and struggling to finish his written report. The deadline was closing up on him, but despite his best efforts, it seemed like it was all for naught.

The caffeine in his system ran rampant, coursing through his veins and making him jump at the slightest of sounds. He looked down at his phone, only to find out it was merely a message notification.

_**lazyegg:** Hope the caramel macchiato made you smile. Good night!_

Taeyang smiled. He doesn’t know whether to blame the coffee or the message he just received for his erratic heartbeat. It was loud and fast—he could’ve sworn he could hear it himself; he almost likened it to the beating of a hummingbird’s heart.

_**sun_flower:** Enjoyed every sip. Thank you._

Few minutes have passed and Taeyang sighed. As usual, he didn’t get any response after that.

Whoever this is has been sending him gifts every day without fail since November last year. It was frustrating to know that 10 months in, and he still has no clue about who exactly this mystery person is. All he knows is that they’re from the same school and they for him a lot.

They don’t have a name to call him by, so he refers to them using their username— _lazyegg_.

With his heart still pounding, his phone beeped again to his surprise. He immediately checked it only to be disappointed with a message notification from his friend.

_**cutehamster:** Please, Taeyang. Let me copy your homework, please! I’ll treat you tomorrow!_

_**sun_flower:** NO._

Inseong sent him a crying gif. Taeyang sneered at his phone and didn’t bother to reply his friend back. Instead, he sent another message to _lazyegg._

_**sun_flower:** I know you won’t reply back but hey, have a good night._

He typed _“I’m really hoping to meet you!”_ soon after, but decided against sending it. As much as he wanted to meet them, he didn’t want to sound impatient or demanding. The day will come soon. He just has to have some patience.

The next day at school, Taeyang followed his usual routine. He walked to his locker, placed his heavy Chemistry and Microbiology books on the shelf, and picked up the gift that has now become a staple in his locker.

Every day was different, always a pleasant surprise to start the day right.

Today he found a slice of banana bread wrapped in clear plastic with a yellow post-it note saying, _“Good luck today! -lazyegg”._

A smile crept on Taeyang’s face, a near permanent fixture nowadays. He removed the note and placed it in a small pink box in the corner of his locker where he put all of the notes he had received thus far.

_A few weeks into the gift-giving, Taeyang decided to take a leap of faith and give them his combination, together with his phone number. He placed the note on top of the locker, where the gifts were usually left at the time. He trusted they wouldn’t steal anything from him—only place what they wished to give and leave after they had done so._

The first time was admittedly nerve-wracking as he knew nothing of _lazyegg’s_ character, but as time went by, he had learned to wholeheartedly trust this secret admirer of his. And little did he know, it would be one of the little things he’d look forward to every day. 

He munched on the banana bread on his way to class, savoring the tasty treat. Whoever this was never ceased to amaze him, whether it be due to the heartfelt notes or how he seemed to know him so well.

“Wow! Kim Inseong! I didn’t know you had the ability to come to class this early?” he mocked his friend in lieu of a greeting. 

He sat beside Inseong, whose eyes were trained on his laptop screen. Taeyang could swear that if you looked close enough, you could see a fire behind his friend’s onyx eyes. 

Whenever Taeyang doesn’t get enough sleep, he has the tendency to go to school hours before his actual class starts, thus explaining why he was there at 7:45 for a class that wouldn’t even start until 9:00. 

Taeyang does this because his bed seems to call out to him whenever he has even the littlest time to rest. One time he gave in and found himself bound to his bed, as if magnetized. As fate would have it, the only outside force that could break the magnetic bond— _i.e. his alarm_ —was absent from the equation. All of this combined led to him missing his classes and missing the deadlines for projects that were due on that day. That alone was enough to teach him a lesson. 

“Shut up, you stingy dick head,” Inseong glared at his friend and immediately went back to his business as he doesn’t have much time left before the submission. 

Inside the classroom, it was all too quiet. Around them, students crammed for a test later that day, eyes glued to their textbooks, forcing their brains to absorb paragraphs upon paragraphs of information. The only sound that could be heard throughout the room was the tapping—or rather smashing—of a computer’s keyboard. 

Taeyang, ever the curious one, leaned closer to Inseong. His eyes widened when he saw what was on the display—a half-finished written report. The very same report due in a few hours. 

“You weren’t able to finish your report? What the ever fucking love happened? Did you fall asleep?” Taeyang asked. 

Inseong sighed dramatically. “It was Zuho’s Mom’s birthday yesterday and I got invited to her party. I got back to my dorm at 11, and fell asleep while doing my report after finishing my homework in which my one and only friend didn’t even bother helping me. And now, I’m royally screwed. Thanks.”

_'Ah, it was his boyfriend’s Mom’s birthday.'_

Taeyang gave Inseong’s shoulder a pat and muttered, “Good luck,” mouth stuffed with banana bread. “I’m just gonna take a quick nap,” he said, words muffled by the food in his mouth.

Twenty years on this earth and somehow he still hadn’t learned the basic etiquette of not talking when one’s mouth is full. 

Instead of just ignoring Taeyang, Inseong looked at his friend. “Was that banana bread? Damn! Reminds me I didn’t even have breakfast.” 

Taeyang nodded as a response to the latter’s question and stuck his tongue out. “Serves you right.”

“Doofus,” Inseong spat.

Taeyang took his backpack—which he placed on the chair to his right earlier, and put it on his arm rest. He used it as a pillow so that he can have a more comfortable nap. He could still hear Inseong talk—curse at him rather, but he was too sleepy to mind his friend.

The commotion in the classroom woke him up. He checked the time—8:50 AM. The professor came in late but had to leave early because she was to attend a faculty meeting; the only reason she showed up in the first place was to collect their papers. 

After they passed their papers, Inseong invited Taeyang to have lunch with him at a nearby diner, since Inseong was too focused on the work due that day to have a proper meal. 

On the way to the diner, Taeyang’s phone buzzed, and from the huge smile on his face, his friend could take a good guess at who the message was from. Regardless, he decided to tune out any conversation that Inseong was trying to make with him in favor of answering his “secret admirer”. 

_**lazyegg:**_ How was the banana bread?

 ** _sun_flower:_** It was good! I didn’t have the time to eat anything before I went to school earlier, so thank you. Without you I would have collapsed hahaha

 ** _lazyegg:_** Great to hear that from you. Hope you’re having a good day so far, Taeyang. 

Even after their little interaction, Taeyang couldn’t find it in himself to wipe the smile off his face. Whoever this was gave him presents, asked for his two cents, but did nothing more. _It’s always like that. It has always been like that_ —as if his messages were programmed. At times, Taeyang thinks he’s talking to a robot—ridiculous as that may be.

_‘If it goes on like this, there would never be any progress between us. Or am I the only one who craves for it? Don't you want to better our relationship? Don't you want to know more about me? Because I know I do... I want more of you.’_

“Hey! Your head is in the clouds again. Is it about that admirer of yours who’s been giving you food? Is our sweet potato smoochiepoo munchkin finally in love?” Inseong asked causing Taeyang to turn red and had the urge to hit the big chestnut-shaped face idiot. 

“Man I wish your admirer liked me instead. Zuho is such a cheapskate,” Inseong replied with a deep sigh. “Anyway, here goes my first meal of the day!” 

Taeyang took a big bite of his cheeseburger, paying no mind to his friend’s dramatics, and sipped cola from his straw to aid the hard food in going down to his stomach. 

“How could you talk about your boyfriend like that? Zuho is such a nice guy. It’s obviously you who’s the real problem.” He dipped about seven pieces of fries in ketchup, effortlessly shoving it in his mouth.

“You guys are ganging up on me now. Great! I have a cheapskate boyfriend and an asshole friend. Hah! What a university life I’m living.” 

“Speaking of your boyfriend...” Taeyang trailed off, eating his food in peace. 

“Wha-“ Inseong started, only to be cutoff by Zuho himself. 

“I thought you have a class at this hour? Are you cutting classes again?” Zuho asked them. Taeyang looked up from his meal, surprised that Zuho had memorized their schedule.

_'Talk about the power of love.'_

Zuho sat down beside Inseong, placing the tray he’s holding on the table. Inseong was about to take a piece of Zuho’s fries, but Zuho was quick to slap his hand away; he almost looked like a dragon guarding his treasure with the way he shielded it from Inseong. 

Inseong looked at Taeyang, who is now laughing as if he was watching a comedy show. 

“See? I told you!” Inseong said, an eyebrow raised. 

“I get it now,” said Taeyang, trying to suppress his laughter. 

“What do you mean by do you get it now? Were you guys badmouthing me?” Zuho asked, feigning hurt. “Ah! Scratch that,” he quickly amended. “You guys still haven’t answered my question.” 

_‘Thank God Zuho’s more interested in finding an answer to why they were having an early lunch than he was about finding out how his own boyfriend had called him a cheapskate prior to his arrival.’_

Taeyang wiped the sides of his mouth, as well as his oil covered fingers, with a tissue. “Our professors from our department have a faculty meeting so we don’t have classes until two.” 

Zuho looked at Inseong, feeling betrayed. “AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME?!”

“I’m sorry. I was about to, okay? But at least I didn’t cut classes,” Inseong ended his statement with a wink to escape even though he knows that it won’t work which he finds unfair, because it always works the other way around. With Inseong acting cute in front of Zuho, Taeyang knows where this conversation was going. 

“THE FUCKING AUDACITY?” Zuho practically screeched. 

“Wow you’re already glowing with rage. You’re already eating with me! What else do you want? Should I send you a text message now?” Inseong said, voice loud but not anywhere near Zuho’s volume. 

“If I haven’t gone here, I wouldn’t even know! We rarely go ou—,” Zuho started. 

“Stop it you guys,” Taeyang cut Zuho off, putting a halt to their little quarrel. He sighed at how ridiculous his friends were.

Inseong and Zuho always fought over shallow things like this, but Taeyang has no more fucks to give; he was used to it. The lover’s quarrel happened far too often, but always ended in them making up; cuddling like there was no tomorrow.

“Anyway,” Taeyang said after the chaos had somewhat died down, “Jaeyoon sent me a message saying he wants to meet me at the Student Center, so I’ll leave you two here after I finish my meal.” 

Taeyang left the diner as soon as he could. There was clearly still some tension in the air as he bid his goodbyes, but, as usual—he paid it no mind. He was sure they’d kiss and make-up sooner or later anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts/comments are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!
> 
> 💛💛💛
> 
> twt: brainseongs  
> cc: brainseongs


	2. Chapter 2

Thankfully, the Student Centre building wasn’t too far away and locating Jaeyoon was just as easy. Taeyang found Jaeyoon alone in one of the rooms, a table littered with all kinds of art materials laid out before him.

“Jaeyoon? What’s up?” Taeyang asked.

Jaeyoon is an art major student, currently in his 5th year. He’s known for being one of the top students in their department. He’s also well loved in his department and talented beyond his years—so much that some major companies are offering him contracts despite his current status as a student.

“Oh, Taeyang!” Jaeyoon said, turning to face him, “You came! How was your lunch?”

“Fastfood gets better every single day,” Taeyang said, shrugging and donning a sardonic smile. He stepped in to the room and closed the door behind him. He leaned against a nearby wall, crossing his arms and staring at Jaeyoon. “Okay, get straight to the point. What do you need?”

Taeyang took a good look at what Jaeyoon was drawing, and curiosity got the best of him. He went near Jaeyoon, pulled up a chair and sat next to him, tucking his bag under the table. He rested his elbow on the table, and his chin on his palm as he continued to take a few mental guesses.

Eventually he gave up and just asked, “What’s that?” while making a vague gesture to the sketchbook.

“A plate. It’s due tomorrow,” Jaeyoon answered.

Taeyang looked at it, scrutinizing the work in front of him. Clearly, he had just started—not a good idea for something that was due the very next day.

“Weren’t you working on something else the other day? When is that due? Isn’t it due tomorrow too? Why did you only start on this now?” Taeyang asked, genuinely confused. He couldn’t see how someone could be this lax about having two major tasks due soon, yet having maybe 20% of each done.

_'Seriously, what’s with people around me, literally cramming everything?'_

Sometimes Taeyang wondered about what was going through Jaeyoon’s head—what made him tick, what his thought process was, and what made him so charming and appealing not only to his peers, but also to his elders.

Along with that came thoughts of what his weakness could be, because surely under this whole _“I’m-the-epitome-of-perfection”_ façade had a crack in it somewhere. No human is perfect after all.

It had taken him quite some time, but what he uncovered never failed to make him laugh. Mr. Perfect’s weakness was none other than Rowoon— _Taeyang’s brother._

Jaeyoon found it cute when Taeyang bombarded him with questions. “Yes. It’s obvious that I haven’t started anything and the thing that I was working on the other day is for another purpose which is why I need you to help me,” Jaeyoon stated matter-of-factly.

“Lee Jaeyoon, cramming for his plate. What a sight.”

“Look. I didn’t call you here to mock at me. I really need your help.” He turned to properly face Taeyang, “Please help me write an article. I need to submit it to our editor-in-chief as soon as possible.”

Taeyang raised an eyebrow but wasn’t surprised. He knew Jaeyoon would ask for a favor like this. “An article about what?” he asked.

Jaeyoon handed Taeyang out the drafts of the article he had made, as well as some additional information contributed by the other members of the organization. They are both writers of the _Paragon_ , the official publication of the university. They may not be literature majors, but they do both love writing.

“About the music competition that was held in Japan and uh-,” Jaeyoon gulped nervously, hoping Taeyang would help him, despite the difficulty of the task at hand. “I also need you to interview the people involved,” Jaeyoon said, trying to keep himself from making it sound like a big deal. He knew this was asking a lot of someone—but he didn’t really have much of a choice.

Taeyang furrowed his brows while his eyes are still focused on the draft Jaeyoon gave him. He supposed it could be an interesting task, plus it’s a great escape from having to deal with Inseong and Zuho.

Some photos were attached to the draft but a specific single shot photo caught Taeyang’s attention. He has dark brooding eyes, prominent Adam’s apple, and hair barely touching his broad shoulders. _'Kim Hwiyoung’ ,_ he murmured the name that was written on the photo.

“Kang Chani and Kim Hwiyoung from the Music Department?” He looked up at Jaeyoon, “Why do I feel like I’ve heard their names before?”

Taeyang continued to skim the files, learning of the details of the competition and the scale of it all. He was impressed to say the least when he read that it was an international competition, and not just some sort of training camp for musicians.

“Have you ever heard of the song _‘Poem’_?” Jaeyoon asked, hoping it would spark some recognition in Taeyang and peak his interest at the same time.

“Did they write that?!” Taeyang asked, abruptly standing from his chair. “I love that song! I listen to it daily!” he exclaimed.

Jaeyoon breathed a sigh of relief, thankful for Taeyang’s enthusiasm.

“And who in the world doesn’t love that song?” Jaeyoon said, needing to make sure Taeyang was sold on the idea.

“Ah. My friend.” Taeyang already lost count on how many times Inseong has nagged him for having the song on loop occassionally.

“Tasteless friend you got there.” Jaeyoon dug around his desk and found a few more notes on the musical duo. “They’ve easily become the pride of the Music Department—and soon hopefully the whole university too. They’re very talented, and care more about their music than what they might earn through it.”

“Alright then,” Taeyang said, putting the papers in his backpack, “I’ll work on it. But don’t forget about my jellies,” he said, winking at the other.

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes at him. He should’ve expected this from the beginning, but it was a small price to pay. “Yeah. Take all the fuckin’ jellies you want. After all, seniors should treat their juniors.”

“Goodbye, my dear senior!” Taeyang made sure he emphasized the last word as he moved to exit the room.

“Wait!” Jaeyoon exclaimed. “H-how is your brother doing?” he asked, suddenly less confident than he was mere moments ago.

Taeyang smiled knowingly, which in turn annoyed Jaeyoon. “Rowoon’s doing just fine. If you miss him, why not just fake an illness again for you to have a reason to go to the university’s hospital? Though, he’s assigned at the pediatrics at the moment. I don’t know how you’re gonna make an excuse this time," Taeyang mockingly said, sticking out his tongue at the other.

“TAEYANG YOU BRAT!” Jaeyoon called out as Taeyang hurriedly left the room.

Taeyang couldn’t help but laugh at how whipped Jaeyoon was when it comes to his older brother. What made it even more hilarious for him was the fact that the latter had had a crush on his brother for quite some time now—since it apparently started at an acquaintance party early into their freshman year.

* * *

Friday came around soon enough. Taeyang walked under the blazing sun to make his way to the Music Department’s building. He hadn’t gone there very often, only managing to visit once before to accompany his brother in watching a musical play.

Rowoon was a fan of the musical arts—a fact that came in handy when his birthday had neared once and Taeyang was too pre-occupied to buy a gift until the last minute. Luckily for Taeyang, a musical production was happening at the time, and he managed to snag some tickets for the both of them. He couldn’t say he enjoyed it as much as his brother did because the only thing that made him enjoyed and not doze off was because of the prince at the play, but it was memorable to say the least.

Taeyang walked into the unfamiliar building, nerves starting to eat away at him. He has been unconsciously staring at Hwiyoung's photo from time to time ever since he received it from Jaeyoon. He would be lying if he'd deny the fact that it's one of the most beautiful faces he has ever seen.

_'He looks this gorgeous in the photo. What more when I see him face to face?'_

He doesn't know why, but the fact of meeting the boy in the photo in person gave him the same excitement as when he was about to meet his secret admirer last year.

“Excuse me, may I ask if do you know these students perhaps?” Taeyang showed the pictures of Chani and Hwiyoung to a music student who has a jet black hair which matches his ivory black clothing and holding a saxophone that was obviously well-taken care of that you can hardly find any scratches.

“Oh, this is Kang Chani. We're in the same class,” the student placed his index finger on the picture on the right, “And this is Kim Hwiyoung, but he’s a-“

“Dawon? Youngbin has been waiting for you inside. You still need to practice, right?” A fair skinned student, slightly smaller than him, hair dyed with brown, and has an angelic aura despite having sharp facial features, appeared in front of them.

The hall was kind of noisy as the students were individually practicing with their own instruments. Surprisingly, each instruments produce good sounds which kind of created a harmony and doesn’t irritate Taeyang’s ears at all.

“Great timing. Chani, he’s looking for you and yeah. I know. Fuck. I’m screwed,” Dawon dashed through the hallway and went straight to the classroom where Chani came out from.

“I heard you were looking for me? What may I help you with?”

Taeyang didn’t want to let Chani know how starstruck he was, as he’s one of the composers of his favorite song so he tried his best to act naturally. He had been practicing the night prior, yet he felt ill-prepared for this interview. There was quite a lot at stake, given both Jaeyoon’s deadline and Kang Chani & Kim Hwiyoung’s tight schedules.

“Yes, I’m Yoo Taeyang from the Health Allied Department and I’m here as a representative of _Paragon_.” As Taeyang was introducing himself, he somehow got weirded out as Chani’s shocked expression was evident. Taeyang furrowed his eyebrows at the latter’s reaction.

_'What was that? Did I say something wrong?'_

“A-are you okay?” As much as Taeyang wanted to sound like he’s concerned, it sounded nothing but pure confusion.

Chani shook his head, but Taeyang could see how flustered Chani still was. Taeyang also noticed how the student was trying to avoid his eyes. Not to mention Chani’s lips have gone slightly paler than before.

“I’m sorry. I kinda got lost there. Maybe because I still haven’t had my lunch yet,” Chani reasoned.

“Oh no. You can go and grab your lunch first We can just re-schedule the interview.” Taeyang suddenly felt bad since he knows very much how it feels like to have an empty stomach.

“No, it’s okay. I can manage. Going back, why were you looking for me?”

“Oh, as I was saying, I’m a writer from _Paragon_ and I would like to have an interview with you and Kim Hwiyoung regarding the International Music Competition that was held last November. Can you spare some time? Lee Jaeyoon was the one who's supposed to be here, but he has other things to do,” explained Taeyang.

“That! I almost forgot about that! Sure,” answered Chani.

“How about Hwiyoung?”

“Didn’t Lee Jaeyoon tell you? I’m the only one who’s going to do the interview. I’m pretty sure I made that clear in my e-mail.”

Taeyang’s eyes got narrower since Jaeyoon failed in telling him that. The sudden disappointment in his face showed.

_'I was actually looking forward to meet you, but maybe not today. Where could you possibly be?'_


	3. Chapter 3

“Ah I’m sorry. He didn’t inform me that. But may I ask why? Is he busy?“ Taeyang asked.

“He went off somewhere,” Chani simply answered.

Taeyang's head went like one of those bobblehead toys from Inseong’s collection. He wanted to ask Chani where exactly did Hwiyoung go, but didn't pursue the matter. To annoy the music student before the interview was the last thing he wanted to happen.

The hallway has become noisier. Students were also busy with their instruments, making them not look where they were going. Taeyang even got hit on his crotch by an _instrument-he-doesn’t-want-to-know_ , feeling his soul leave for a minute.

Realizing they wouldn’t get to have a proper interview in the hallway, Taeyang and Chani decided to move to a more quiet place.

Chani showed Taeyang the way to an empty music hall in the building.

The music hall was still as elegant as ever as Taeyang remembered. The interior framed by undulating concrete walls that support the varnished wooden balconies, velvety red curtains and chairs, and a well-polished floor in which he also remembered how Rowoon pointed it out when they watched a musical on how he wanted to achieve a floor like that for their apartment.

They occupied the two seats at the last row. Taeyang wasted no time. He turned on his recording device and started the interview with Chani.

Despite Chani not prepared, he has been answering Taeyang’s questions diligently.

“What inspired you and Hwiyoung while composing the song?” Taeyang on his 6th question.

“Hwiyoung did almost eighty percent of the work. I was just the one who re-arranged the song. Answering on behalf of him, it was more like _who_ inspired him to compose the song, and it’s the person he likes.” Chani, continuously poking his own cheek while doing the interview—one of the mannerisms he developed at a young age.

“So, you’re saying that the song is dedicated to the person he likes?”

Chani gave him a nod. “Exactly. It was October last year since he started working on the song. He didn’t have plans on releasing it publicly, until our professor accidentally heard the song while he was practicing. Our professor happened to like the song and made me re-arrange it to add some rap and other instrumentals, believing it would target a broader range of listeners. So, I just did what I’ve been told to do. I consulted Hwiyoung from time to time about it. We then both recorded the song and our professor submitted the song as the university’s entry for the competition.”

_‘Chani’s right. The song is easy to listen to and is well-loved by all ages.’_

“In this song, Kim Hwiyoung’s the one who is singing and you are the one who is rapping?”

“Spot on,” Chani in a low tone and beamed.

_‘Poem’_ by Hwichan, has been Taeyang’s go-to song whenever he feels like listening to music. Knowing who are behind the masterpiece couldn’t get him more astonished.

_‘Hwiyoung’s soothing and calming voice, along with Chani’s crystal clear rap, make them a really great duo.’_

Taeyang asked a couple more questions before wrapping up the interview.

”Thank you so much for your time. And if Hwiyoung’s already around, can you please ask him to contact me so I ca-” Taeyang already wrote 4 digits of his contact number on a sticky note when Chani cut him off.

“Look, Taeyang. I’ve already answered all your questions regarding the competition. What’s the point of contacting him?” Chani’s cold baritone voice sent shivers down Taeyang’s spine.

Taeyang timidly put his pen along with the sticky note down when he realized he ticked Chani off.

_'I guess Hwiyoung really is that busy. Taeyang, you dumb nosy fuck.'_

“And thank you. I hope you still remember Hwiyoung. He’ll be happy to know that.” Chani tried hard to sound brighter, feeling sorry for his sudden mood change.

It took a while for Taeyang to process what Chani just said and when he did, “Remember? What do you mean?” Lines formed between his eyebrows.

“Ah,” Chani let out an awkward laugh in between, “I mean, I hope you get to remember all the things I’ve just said in the interview, especially the reason that made Hwiyoung wrote it. Hoping a good article will come out. He deserves it and we’ll appreciate it very much. I’m counting on you.” Chani gave Taeyang’s shoulder a pat. The corners of his lips rose, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Taeyang chuckled lowly. “Nonsense. I may have a memory of a goldfish, but I have them all stored in here,” he said oozing with confidence and showed Chani the recording device he was holding. “Need not worry,” he added.

“By the way, I need to get going. I only have a couple of minutes left ‘til my next class. It was nice meeting you by the way.” Chani waved his hand in front of Taeyang.

“Make sure to grab your lunch before attending your next class!” Taeyang, almost shouting as Chani was making his way to the music hall’s exit. He waved his right hand enthusiastically until the music student has left the hall.

Taeyang ruffled his own hair and sighed out of relief before packing his things. The reality of being left alone in an empty hall struck him late. He packed his things in the speed of light while humming a random song and dashed through the exit.

Chani answered the best he could and didn’t skip a single question, but Taeyang felt like something was missing.

_'But what is? His answers are already more than enough to make a good article._

_Why do I still have the urge to look for Hwiyoung? I’m not just trying to make excuses to be able to meet him, am I?'_

Taeyang’s trail of thoughts were put into halt. He looked at Hwiyoung’s photo that was in his hand. Strangely enough, the more he stares at it, the more the boy is looking familiar.

Before Taeyang knew it, he has been staring at Hwiyoung’s photo for _God-knows-how-long_ , that he has already walked past by the Health Allied Department’s building.

He groaned. “Get yourself together, Yoo Taeyang,” he whispered to himself and gave his own cheek a slap.

As much as Taeyang wanted to focus on the afternoon lecture, his thoughts seemed to be flying around. He’d take a glimpse of Hwiyoung’s photo, space out, and look at the photo again. It was a never-ending cycle.

Taeyang felt something on his head and squinted his eyes when he looked at Inseong who was holding a pen right in front of his face.

“You dumbo. I asked for a sharpener not a pen!”

“Oops. My bad,” Taeyang took the pen back from Inseong in which he doesn’t even remember handing it to him. “Here,” he threw the sharpener up in the air. Inseong barely caught it and scowled at his friend.

“What happened to you though? Did Jaeyoon do something bad to you? You’re clearly out of it.”

“Nah. He wouldn’t dare to pick on me,” Taeyang, knowing he has Rowoon as his shield.

Hwiyoung’s photo that was on Taeyang’s desk didn’t manage to escape from Inseong’s prying eyes. He grabbed it, but Taeyang’s reflexes were just as fast to take the photo back and put it inside his pencil case.

Inseong rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Come on. You think I’d be interested in other guys? Are you questioning my loyalty to Zuho?”

“As I should,” Taeyang answered with no remorse.

When Inseong was about to hit his friend—as if the world was on Taeyang’s side, their professor came back inside their classroom.

Taeyang has been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately.

He tried searching for Hwiyoung’s accounts on different social media platforms, but got tired after a few tries and has come into conclusion that the boy isn’t into social media.

“Where could you possibly be? Why do I feel like I've seen you before?” he asked while looking at Hwiyoung’s photo, pouting.

As for his secret admirer, it has always been like the usual—they would ask him if he liked what they gave and Taeyang would say yes and thank them. They would say _‘goodnight’_ if it was evening, and _‘have a good day’_ if Taeyang managed to reply by afternoon.

_He was hoping he’d catch his secret admirer in front of his locker one day, but it never happened._

Days passed and Taeyang tried to keep himself busy by focusing on his studies and on Paragon.

He’d hang out with Inseong and Zuho during his free time and visit his brother once in a while at the hospital. At times, he would bump into Chani inside the campus and exchange nods.

_He was hoping he would also bump into Hwiyoung one day, but it never happened._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts/comments are very much appreciated! Thank you so much for reading!  
> -nikki
> 
> twt/cc: brainseongs


	4. Chapter 4

_**October** _

Instead of going straight to his apartment, Taeyang decided to pay his brother a visit in the hospital.

After asking the nurses assigned at the Information post regarding Rowoon’s appointment, he made his way to the pediatrics’ room.

A sight of Rowoon talking to a lady with a child on her lap welcomed him. “Hey,” he greeted his older brother and bowed in front of the lady.

“Taeyang! What brings you here?”

Rowoon knows how busy Taeyang is with school works which is why he appreciates it a lot whenever his brother visits him.

“He’s my younger brother who’s also studying in this university,” Rowoon said as a way of introducing Taeyang to the lady.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am,” Taeyang said politely, and the lady mirrored his smile. He lowered his head to excuse himself and made his way to the empty patient bed on the other side of the room while he waits for Rowoon to finish with his appointment. He took the wrapped oatmeal cookie inside his backpack which was from his secret admirer and ate it with gusto.

“We need to have you checked again so you have to come back, okay?” Rowoon leaned forward and touched the kid’s left upper arm with a small yellow sticker on it. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, right? I promise you I’ll have more candies and stickers by next week.”

Rowoon is on his internship in their university’s hospital and Taeyang could see very well that this path is really for him. 

“Again, what brings you here?” Rowoon swiveled in the chair to face Taeyang after the lady and the kid left the room.

“Is your shift over?”

Rowoon tilted his head towards his shoulder to ease muscle tension. “Yup! That was my Chief’s last patient for the day”

Taeyang’s face suddenly brightened. “Then let’s go out tonight. I want a drink after a long hectic week.”

“Don’t you have classes tomorrow?”

“It’s just Philosophy class,” Taeyang shrugged.

Rowoon doesn’t have a shift on Saturdays this semester, leaving him no reason to not give in. Besides, it has been awhile since the last time they hung out together.

It was just a 15-minute drive from the university to the chill bar they always go to—not just because they love its drinks and ambiance, but they also get discounts since it is run by Jaeyoon’s dad.

_**Taeyang:** We’re at your dad’s bar. Yes, WE!_

Taeyang sent Jaeyoon a message. He chuckled at the thought of Jaeyoon having a monologue on his way to make it look like he just happened to drop by the bar, and that meeting Rowoon was a coincidence.

“That secret admirer of mine stood me up last year! And I still don’t know where the hell is this person I’ve been looking forward to meet. I mean it when I say the universe is against me!” Taeyang, already tipsy after having two shots of booze.

_December last year,_ his secret admirer had told him they were ready to reveal themself. They arranged a meeting at a nearby café. Taeyang was so excited—going as far as planning his outfit the night before—only to have it cancelled last minute.

_“I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t go. Something came up,”_ was all they said. Nothing more and nothing less.

Rowoon bursted out laughing. “My brother’s a grown up man now. So on Taeyang’s mini life update, his secret admirer still remains a secret and has no trace of the person he wants to meet. Tough luck you have there.”

Rowoon felt Taeyang’s intense glare towards him. But Rowoon was also already tipsy, making him pinch the younger’s plump and already red cheeks.

“HEY! You guys are also here?” A loud voice coming from afar made their heads turn. In a blink of an eye, a man wearing a blue polo has already occupied the seat beside Taeyang.

“O-oh. Rowoon, nice to see you again. What a coincidence!” Jaeyoon greeted, following Taeyang’s fake cough.

_‘His acting gets better everyday.’_

Jaeyoon managed to flash a wide grin to Rowoon despite feeling that his body was about to combust. After all, it has been forever since the last time he saw Rowoon. And forever in Jaeyoon’s dictionary means _two days ago._

“Good to have your here with us! How did your plate go?” Jaeyoon noticed the hoarseness in Taeyang’s voice.

“I was able to pass it on time thanks to you. I just need to go to the grocery for your jellies.” Jaeyoon poured tequila on the empty shot glass and drank it as if it was just water, clearly the only heavyweight among them.

“As expected from the one and only Lee Jaeyoon! My future brother-in-law!” Taeyang put his thumbs up in the air whose cheeks are much redder than before.

Jaeyoon panicked for a bit and tried to think of something that would divert Rowoon’s attention. “By the way, I already submitted the article you wrote to our EIC.”

“Yay!” Taeyang threw his arms in the air. “I hope it gets to be published! That EIC is a one tough nut,” he groaned.

“I remember, did you know that Jaeyoon finished a fucking plate in less than a day? Wish I could also cram like that!” Taeyang blurted out.

Rowoon’s brows furrowed and looked at Jaeyoon, confused. “I thought you had nothing to do and had lots of time to spare which is why you were able to give me handmade portrait paintings?"

The alcohol in Taeyang’s mouth sprayed towards Rowoon’s face and laughed like a madman. It didn’t anger Rowoon considering he’s a complete clean freak and just wiped his face with a table napkin.

“What the fuck? Taeyang!” Jaeyoon exclaimed. “That’s disgusting!”

“And what the fuck Lee Jaeyoon? You’ve been giving my brother handmade portrait paintings? That was what you were busy with instead of focusing on your schoolwork? Talk about priorities.”

Taeyang didn’t know that Jaeyoon was capable of cramming his plates in less than a day just to make his brother portrait paintings.

_'Damn. The power of love, really.'_

“Words, Taeyang. He’s still your senior. Besides, what’s wrong with Jaeyoon giving me handmade paintings? I mean, there’s nothing wrong about it,” Rowoon’s gaze shifted to Jaeyoon. “Thank you, Jaeyoon. I appreciate it but, I don’t want to be the reason why you don’t get enough sleep. You need to take care of that handsome face of yours.”

Jaeyoon’s cheeks and ears went just as red as Taeyang’s. It was his first time hearing a compliment from Rowoon, and he swore he could kiss him at that moment.

“Yeah. It’s just a painting. Guess there’s no other meaning behind it. Maybe I’m just delusional. Dumbasses. You’re both wasting your time.” Taeyang managed to mock the older two, with his eyes shut and chin resting on his palm.

The two plastered a smile on their faces before sharing soft giggles as they found drunk Taeyang adorable.

* * *

“Mint-choco is better! Matcha ice cream tastes like grass! Are you a goat?” Inseong, showing a face of pure disgust.

“At least it doesn’t taste like toothpaste! Why would you spend bucks on frozen toothpaste?” Zuho fired back.

“Wow you’ve tasted toothpaste! I guess goats brush their teeth too!”

“Taeyang, which flavor is better? Mint-choco or matcha?” Zuho asked Taeyang who was busy with his phone.

Before Taeyang could answer, Inseong butted in. “Of course he'll choose both! He's good at it. He has been two-timing between his secret admirer and Hwiyou-fngh,” Inseong’s words became muffled when Taeyang shoved the burger wrapper inside his mouth.

Taeyang stood up and looked at Zuho. “Jaeyoon wanted to see me. I’ll head out first.” He gave Inseong a pat on the head with the wrapper still inside his mouth before leaving the diner.

* * *

“The EIC said that it was well-written and will be included in the publication!” Jaeyoon greeted Taeyang with a good news.

Taeyang let out a loud airy _“yes”_. It was nerve-racking to say the least, as he didn't want to disappoint Hwiyoung and Chani.

“Thank you! I’m also glad you gave me the opportunity to do so,” said Taeyang.

“No, I should thank you. It was supposed to be my task but I passed the responsibility to you. Here’s my token of appreciation.” Jaeyoon handed Taeyang five large packs of jellies.

Taeyang squinted his eyes because it’s not likely of Jaeyoon to give him that much. “Wow! I didn’t know you’re that grateful to give me this much.”

“Uh- share them with your brother,” Jaeyoon mumbled, but it was clear enough for Taeyang to hear. He cleared his throat when the younger gave him a teasing look.

“Aha! I knew there was something. But hey, don’t you think you should step up your game? You know how slow my brother is when it comes to stuff like this,” Taeyang gave him a piece of advice.

And with that, Taeyang couldn’t help it but think of his admirer.

_Does he have no plans on stepping up his game too?_

**_November_ **

“Where the fuck is Zuho? He was the one who asked us to be on campus at 4 in the morning to jog and for crying out loud he’s already 15 minutes late!” Inseong kept on nagging at Taeyang.

It was still dark and the cold breeze was tightly hugging their bodies despite wearing thick padded jackets. Winter sure was coming.

“Let’s head to our building first or we’ll damn freeze to death,” Taeyang calmly suggested to his friend whose mouth wouldn’t run out of words to say.

“Ugh! That idiot really. I’m gonna punch him in the face when he arrives. I only had three hours of sleep." Inseong yawned.

“Right. It’s been a while since I’ve last seen you two have a brawl,” said Taeyang and blocked Inseong’s fist when he knew it coming.

The two were already in front of the building and Inseong happened to see someone who just came out of the building. “There’s someone in here already? There are students who come to school at 4? I thought Zuho just completely lost his mind when he wanted us to meet here at this hour. Don’t they want to sleep?” Inseong, without a single pause.

“M-maybe he also came this early to j-jog,” Taeyang stuttering.

"Why are you stuttering? Don't tell me it was a ghost! Come on! Tell me you saw it too!” Inseong then clinged onto Taeyang’s arm.

"Ugh! Zuho's taste,” Taeyang tsked.

Minutes later with Inseong still clinging onto Taeyang’s arm, Zuho has finally arrived to join them.

“Look at what we have here. Mr. Baek freaking Zuho finally showed up.” Inseong rolled his eyes prior to receiving a light hit from his boyfriend on his arm. “Ouch! What the hell?” he exclaimed, clearly overreacting.

“Don’t overreact Kim Inseong. You’re wearing a padded jacket,” Taeyang commented in which he got an _‘I-thought-you’re-my-fucking-friend’_ look in return.

“I’m sorry. I had to take care of my brother. He went out to drink last night,” Zuho explained while scratching his nape.

The two immediately understood Zuho and they couldn't blame him. Zuho’s brother being wasted was a sight Taeyang and Inseong wouldn't be able to forget.

They jogged around the campus for a couple of minutes, to say that they really did “jog”, and walked for about an hour while chatting.

Zuho and Inseong were debating the whole time on who's wearing a cuter ear muffs between them. Meanwhile, Taeyang may be with them physically, but spiritually, he was absent. He couldn’t help but think of the person who just came out of the HA Department building?

_'Why was Chani coming from the HA building? And at this hour?'_

Just when Taeyang thought his sleeping pattern has improved lately, he knew he was just clowning himself. He likes it better when he got loads of stuff to do, but that night, he had a lot of time to spare since he doesn’t have any projects to submit or quizzes to take the next day.

Tons of _what ifs_ have been running in his mind the whole day, that he swore to himself that he's not gonna miss this one out.

He waited for the clock to strike at around the time he saw Chani come out from the HA building. He got up, picked up his padded jacket, and went out silently since he didn’t want to wake Rowoon up, considering his brother only come to their apartment twice a week to get a decent sleep.

Taeyang went straight to the HA Department’s building and headed to the first floor where all the HA students’ lockers stand. He doesn’t know why he was being careful—taking light steps, trying hard to not make even the slightest sound... Until he saw a familiar figure.

_There he was_ —Chani was standing exactly right in front of his already opened locker. He was sure _lazyegg_ was the only one who knows his combination, other than himself. He wanted to go to Chani, but his body told him otherwise, making him stay hiding behind the white wall post.

His heart sure was beating wildly. Series of rapid heartbeats that he has never felt before.

Taeyang waited for Chani to leave the building before slowly making his way to his locker. He opened it, and there he saw a couple of hot packs and a strawberry muffin with a post-it saying, _“Stay warm! -lazyegg”_

_'All this time… it's been you, Kang Chani?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts/comments are very much appreciated! Thank you so much for reading!  
> -nikki
> 
> twt/cc: brainseongs

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts/comments are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!
> 
> 💛💛💛
> 
> twt: brainseongs  
> cc: brainseongs


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